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An Intimate Baseball Conversation

Posted on July 20, 2022July 20, 2022 by andrew.visscher

By Steve Meyers

Julien Henri (GM): That is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Thaddeus.
Thaddeus Wolcraft (Owner): Look, here, Julien you work for me. Don’t you forget it.
Henri: I’m aware of that Mr. Wolcraft.
Wolcraft: That’s better.
Henri: But it is still the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Wolcraft: It’s your job not to think. Your job is to follow my directives.
Henri: But do you even hear yourself speak, Mr Wolcraft?
Wolcraft: I’ll expect your report on my desk by Friday 8:00 AM.
(Two Hours later)
Sam Chambers (Senior Baker Pitcher): What’s the matter, Mr. Henri, you look down in the dumps. You
look like you lost your best friend, and I’m right here.
Henri: Hi Sam. Ugh. Don’t know where to start.
Chambers: Well, Julien, I’ve been with you here in New York since the beginning and you don’t have a
bigger supporter than me in this town. You know that, right?
Henri: I appreciate that Sam. It’s our 9 th year together in NY. I wish I had more like you.
Chambers: Well, Julien, some of these kids coming up. Ya know, they look pretty good. Might not be
too long before we are contenders.
Henri: (laughs) Well, Sam, you sound just like Thaddeus when you say that. (Laughs, again)
Chambers: Oh, that meddling, demanding, controlling, you know what? What’s he done this time?
Cut your budget, again?
Henri: (shakes head) No, something inaner than even that.
Chambers: What could be inaner than chopping $32K off the team budget when you are the last place
team in the league?
Henri: looks around the room and pauses until the two base coaches pass by and head to the field.
How about this one. And, this stays between us, Sam.
Chambers: It will in the vault, Julien.
Henri: (lowers voice) Thaddeus wants me to start taking bids on printing post season tickets.
Chambers: Get out!

Henri: Sam, this is serious. He wants me to solicit three bids from different New York printing outfits.
Chambers: Oh, wow. If we were the laughingstock of the league last year what will we be when this
leaks to the press?
Both men gaze down at their shoes. Neither is speaking.
Chambers: Is it possible?
Henri: Well, you know, I have to do it. Not a possibility, Sam, it’s a mandate.
Chambers: You misunderstood me. Is it possible, you know, that we might make the post season?
If we started playing….what is it you call it?
Henri: You mean ‘Baker Ball’?
Chambers: That’s it. Baker Ball, what if we were to start playing that type of game that you been
preaching to us the past few years.
Henri: I know the 83 Metropolitan team went from fourth to first. But nobody ever gone from last to
first, have they? `
Chambers: It would be a first, Julien.
Henri: I’m not going to throw a wet blanket on your idea Sam, but I’m not going to believe it just, yet.
We have a big week in front of us. Philly at home and then New York on the road. Let’s just worry
about that for now.
Chambers: Fair enough. Just so you know, I’m going to be quietly talking to the team leaders and the
captains, Billy and Antonio. I won’t tell them about the ticket farce, just that we have to do our best.
That type of stuff.
Henri: Thanks, Sam. I’ve got a headache. Say, care to join me at the Shakespeare?
Sam: Don’t mind if I do.

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